"Never Meant to Be" Explanation

My mother was 19 when I was born. Her pregnancy was unexpected. While I was still in her womb, my family was very seriously considering the possibility of an abortion. My father was black. She was white. They lived in the South. There would likely be a lot of difficulties raising a biracial son as a single mother, and undoubtedly a certain amount of embarrassment for my family. I won't (at least in this blog) go into everything that transpired to influence their eventual decision not to murder me as a fetus, but I will say that I'm thankful to be alive today.

This song is written from the perspective of a child who was not so fortunate; one of the millions of babies sacrificed to the false gods of convenience, pleasure, self. It's about implementing abortion as a form of birth control, treating it as trivial or even good. (The notion of celebrating abortion is one that seems so clearly evil to my mind.) I want to note, though, that this is absolutely not a condemnation of anyone who has participated in an abortion, but of the act itself. It is an attempt to think and provoke honest thought about the subject and its significance. I understand that this is a volatile topic for many, particularly many women, but at the same time I don't believe that fact outweighs the importance of being honest when it comes to all that it entails. To stand up for the lives of the unborn is to become a voice for the voiceless.

Am I so different?

I've waited for this moment all my life The argument for the morality of abortion rests on establishing the unborn child as distinct from a "person". A fetus is unmistakably a life, and clearly human, but is it of equal value to a child outside the womb? Obviously a child outside the womb is not dependent on the mother in the exact same ways as one on the inside, but what a completely arbitrary metric for someone being considered a person or worthy of the right to life. With the opening lines I'm questioning exactly what it is that makes taking an unborn child's life so clearly different from taking yours, or mine, or even taking the life of a baby just outside of the womb (something I at least hope most would categorize as murder).

My life, a hindrance

A parasitic weight you cast aside

All the things a child might cause a parent to "miss out on" are a huge part of what often motivates abortion. In fairness, there's likely a great deal of truth to that fear (though many, myself included, would argue that the benefits of parenthood far outweigh the costs). But in no other situation would we collectively excuse murdering someone because of the obstacle they might represent to your happiness or personal goals.

Again, though, that can be bypassed by refusing to acknowledge a child as a child. They're just clumps of cells, after all. (If true, by the way, it is necessarily just as true of every person you've ever met). "It's not a person. It's really just a parasite." Man. Referring to a fetus as a parasite betrays such a twisted view of reality. I believe the forces that guide our society's "progress" have very deliberately undermined and corrupted our view of life, indoctrinating millions over the years to believe and celebrate many things that were once almost unthinkable. Truthfully, I believe Satan despises humanity and God's design, and has done everything he can to invert and destroy what God has instituted. God says children are a blessing. Satan calls them parasites.

Such a small price to pay for the pleasure

Everything I could hope to become

So much more than a tie you sever

Oh, what have I done?

Cutting a life short is not just some meaningless act. It's not a small price to pay at all, especially to pay just for fun, pleasure, or convenience. Again, there is a tremendous amount of deceit behind the point we've reached in our culture, and I believe too many women are genuinely not conscious of the gravity of the decision they're being encouraged to make. With the last line of this verse, I'm asking, on behalf of the child, "What have I done to deserve this? What have I done to merit being abandoned by my own mother?"

I thought I heard you say that you loved me

Must have been somebody else

There may be countless children unloved or unwanted by their parents, but they are not unloved by their Creator. God loves children, and I believe their deaths at the hands of the very people tasked with caring for them grieves His heart deeply.

This moment in between

This miracle means nothing to you

"This moment in between" refers to the brevity of the child's time on this earth. "This miracle" is of course the miracle of human life and conception. What an amazing gift to partake in the creation of life. What marvelous processes God has established at the inception of a human being's existence. What a shame to look at something so wonderful with contempt.

Alive, but heartless

You couldn't even look me in my eyes

This darkness is all they've known

But you know darker still

The opening to the second verse compares one's ability to live their life uninhibited by the burden of their own child and the coldness behind having such a warped perspective of that situation. The child will never know life on Earth beyond the darkness of its mother's womb, but how much deeper and binding is the darkness behind the narrative that unborn babies are disposable, detestable inconveniences to their parents.

You're everything to me

I'm only what you never meant to be

In a very real sense, the physical warmth of their mother's body surrounding their own as it develops is the child's everything. She is their whole world, while they are nothing but an unintended consequence in hers.

Terminated

The pregnancy is terminated, and so the child's life. I truly believe situations like the one described throughout this song are tragic. I believe children ought to be loved and protected, and that abortion, even if/when medically necessary, is never something to be taken lightly. It's certainly never something to celebrate. Many comparisons have been made between ancient practices of child sacrifice to demons/false gods and the modern practice, motivations, and scale of abortion. While I've not studied the subject to any significant degree, I find the parallels at the very least striking.

With all that said, I want to stress that I am not suggesting that abortion is the unpardonable sin. I strongly believe it to be wrong, but even more strongly I believe that the forgiveness available through Christ's own willing sacrifice does not exclude mothers or fathers who have chosen abortion. If this applies to you, I urge you to first be honest with yourself and with God about it. Call it for what it is, and truly seek and accept the life that He offers. Throughout the Bible, God promises to forgive those who acknowledge and repent of their sins. Jesus loves children, and Jesus loves you.