“If chance be the Father of all flesh,
Disaster is his rainbow in the sky,
And when you hear
State of Emergency!
Sniper Kills Ten!
Troops on Rampage!
Whites go Looting!
Bomb Blasts School!
It is but the sound of man worshiping his maker.”
― Steve Turner
Nihilism, which is essentially a belief that everything is ultimately meaningless, is an inescapable consequence of atheism, and in fact its only rational conclusion. This is a fact that, in my experience, many people who would deny God's existence are unwilling to acknowledge. In an attempt to dispute it, many will point out that one doesn't need to believe in a higher power in order to have a sense of morality. Even if this is true, one also doesn't need to believe in light to see. But even if you say you don't believe in light, it's the reason you can see. And even if you say you don't believe in God, He's the reason you can even fathom the concept of morality (or fathom anything actually, or perceive, or breathe, or . . . ). Whether you like it or not, you cannot simultaneously denounce all absolutes and make any reasonable appeal to some transcendent moral standard. There are certainly some atheists who are intellectually honest enough to concede this. And there are even more whose lives testify of its accuracy even while their lips deny it.
"Oblivion God" is a song about a hypothetical version of myself who operates from a godless world-view, rejecting even the thought of God, and where that eventually leads me. In dream your side I woke unto
For a time saw the light you swear you do
I wanted to open the song with an acknowledgement that the views I explore therein are not in fact my own. The first line is intended to be an artistic way of saying to an atheistic individual, "I imagined myself as someone who (dis)believes like you do." And at first, the benefits are obvious. I can decide for myself what's right and wrong. I can do whatever seems best to me from moment to moment, free from the looming threat of ultimate consequence for any choices I might make.
Now that illusion's wearing thin
I survive the suffering just to face it all again
Life is hard. Being the highest authority in my own existence comes with the aforementioned benefits, sure, but I'm still bound by the limitations of mortality. I'm still living in a world that's often cruel and hurtful. I overcome hardships and endure agony only to eventually encounter more hardships and more agony, indefinitely.
To find the ends to which you strive
Still insufficient to eclipse the weight of mine
To what end do we struggle? Some want to be rich and famous. Some want to create a loving family. Some want to build a legacy the world will remember. But to atheist me, none of these are enough to provide any meaningful relief in light of the suffering that invariably marks human existence, or the imminence of my own "end", death.
I'm left to the means of a life below
No warmth, no light beyond
Can't call it hope, but it's as close as we could ever come
Oblivion god
The chorus is a description of living in a reality where there is no life beyond our bodies’ few decades of functionality; where we’re born into a random and chaotic world wherein suffering and death are the only things we’re promised. The inevitable fading from existence and into oblivion would be the the closest thing to any long-term hope that we could experience in such a reality. The phrase “oblivion god” is a reference to the nothingness atheism has to irrationally posit as the starting point of everything, and the ultimate fate to which all life must then be destined; (hypothetically) that from which we came, and to which we return.
Would twilight beckon me to leave
For a time you were standing in between
While writing this song, I was conflicted as to how clearly I should convey the message of this verse specifically. These lines are really a veiled way of saying, “Whenever I contemplated suicide as a means of escape from the pain of life, the fact that you (an implicit loved one) would have to deal with the agony of losing me was enough to keep me from following through with it, at least for a while.” As I said, these are not my own final thoughts or conclusions on the subject, but at the same time I am very aware that there are many who might listen and who might truly be at this exact point in their own minds. I certainly wanted to avoid saying anything that might be interpreted as a glorification of suicide, but the weight of life, particularly in conjunction with a world-view devoid of anything beyond it, is certainly enough to push any feeling and thinking person to a breaking point.
When I exhaust my will to live
Is this hollow obligation all you have to give?
Your pain of loss before my time
No more sufficient to eclipse the weight of mine
The second portion of the verse is the logical progression from the first. I’m asking, “When I have no desire to endure this any longer, is the only reason I should keep going just to spare people in my life the pain of losing me ‘too soon’?” And this really is the strongest reason atheism can give someone not to commit suicide. In my opinion, it’s a miserably weak deterrent for anyone who’s reached such a point, perhaps even cruel.
Are we ever truly free 'til we drift in dark alone?
From the chains of gravity released to roam an endless cold
Perhaps some think abandoning belief in God to be freeing. This, however, requires a drastically oversimplified understanding of the concept of freedom. I try to emphasize that here by comparing it with the “freedom” of floating aimlessly in the void of space. None of the earth’s unreasonable, relentless gravity to (quite literally) keep us down. No resistance whatsoever. Only unending cold, emptiness, silence. You know. Freedom.
If from the void we crawl
Whence will my condemnation fall
Should on this day I return us one and all?
The song begins with seeing the immediate perceived benefit of rejecting God, which in the context of real life quickly progresses to frustration and a sense of futility (verse one). This paves the way for an eventual inclination to simply opt out, and the inner conflict of wanting to be rid of the burden of existence but not wanting to add to the burden of others in doing so (verse two). The bridge of the song is what I view as the next step and the culmination of reason when applied to a godless view of reality. “If it’s within my power, why shouldn’t I do everyone a favor by just killing us all? What’s the real loss in me just speeding up the process?” I believe there is no meaningful materialistic response to this question. No one would mourn if there were no one left to mourn.
Broken parts to a worthless whole
Aimlessly carry on
Can't call it hope but it's as close as we could ever come
Oblivion God
The additional lines of the closing chorus serve as a final reminder of the ultimate bleakness that characterizes a truly atheistic perspective. Of course the fact that atheism can’t offer any hope or deeply meaningful response to any of these issues doesn’t in and of itself prove that God exists, but it certainly makes me all the more grateful that He does, and that He is so kind and gracious and mindful of us human beings. Even in the deepest darkness and uncertainty of this life, there is One in whom we can very reasonably place our confidence. God never fails. God always wins.
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