"Only Soul" remains a relatively unique song in the DIRE catalogue. Musically, it's one of the softest and most melodic tracks we've released, at least for the first portion. There are only acoustic guitars and vocals until the second verse, and no distorted guitars until the second chorus. It's also thematically less explicitly hopeful. There's not necessarily any sort of resolution in the song itself, which is at odds with my typical approach to song-writing.
Usually if a song is about a negative subject I try to put it in the context of the bigger picture. I believe there's always hope, and I don't ever want to just lay a problem in the listener's lap and walk away. I suppose the way I talked myself into not wrapping this one up as neatly as usual is that I look at the entire 'Depths' EP as something of a song itself, wherein "Only Soul" is the development of the core conflict or dilemma, much like the inevitable conflict in any good story or film. (This also positions the closing track, "Put It To Death", as the resolution, which was absolutely intentional, and works out just about perfectly, in my opinion. But that will be a different blog!)
The song is about sexual desire and the grip lust has had on me as a man throughout my adult life. I find women to be the most beautiful beings God has created. That reality coupled with the current state of our society makes sexual sin a constant temptation. This song is definitely not intended to paint promiscuity or the like in a positive light, but to serve as an honest analysis of what's actually taking place in a lot of situations our culture steadily assures us are completely benign, even healthy. I am my father's son
A pretty face is all I need
My late father and I never had any real relationship, but he obviously had the same weakness for women that I have. I'm one of several children he had with multiple people. That fact alone has undoubtedly impacted my childhood and the trajectory of my life in ways I don't even know how to account for. I don't have kids and have obviously not made all the same choices he made around desire, but the desire itself and the inclination toward those choices are very much present in me. (To be clear, though, I certainly don't think this is literally because of my father's choices as much as it is because I am simply a human being with innate desires, etc.)
My will is fast undone
My withered spirit smothered underneath
I've forsaken everything
These lines illustrate compromising one's own beliefs and principles in a moment of temptation. It's quite easy to neglect the things that strengthen the inner man, and this can leave us especially vulnerable. It can feel nearly impossible to deny our physical desires when we've deprived ourselves of spiritual nourishment.
Before we tell this lie, I need to let you know
I describe engaging in casual sexual activity as telling a lie, because it is exactly that, only in an even deeper sense than simple verbal dishonesty. As much as any of us might like to rationalize to the contrary, sex is simply not something disconnected and inconsequential. To treat it as being of no significance is to act dishonestly toward anyone else participating.
I have no heart left to give
Only soul
Feel the warmth of your skin, growing cold
Only soul
The chorus describes something like a one-night stand, particularly in the context of me being married. "No heart left to give" reflects how it wouldn't be something born out of love or commitment, but out of selfishness and lust. "Only soul" is saying that, as opposed to offering my heart, I would only be endangering my soul by taking something so serious and powerful so lightly. For all the pleasure of the moment, it would only cause the inner man to grow colder and more miserable.
I left my mother with a broken heart
To satisfy the dark in mine
With my own hands, I tore my world apart
And gave my flesh and blood in sacrifice
I'm still not satisfied
The second verse emphasizes the selfishness of living life at the whim of lust. It's an empty, endless cycle that will culminate in suffering and forever fail to deliver any lasting satisfaction.
If I should die tonight
I know just how I'll go
In several songs, and elsewhere on the 'Depths' EP, I use the night as a metaphor for this world and the struggles of life therein, with the morning representative of the promise of final deliverance. With these lines, what I'm saying is that I feel like if there's anything that presents an obstacle to me seeing my journey through to its end and becoming the man I need to be, it's my affinity for women and physical pleasure. This, in my estimation, has proven to be my most consistent and confounding vice.
I have no heart left to give
And you were never mine to hold
Feel the warmth of your skin, but inside I'm growing cold
Only soul
The latter choruses are slightly reworded (both to further clarify their meaning and to accomodate the musical change in energy from the acoustic chorus), but the message is the same. How foolish to compromise one's soul for fleeting impulses and shallow pleasures.
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